Remember when Republicans were all, “Oh, man, this inflation is just the worst thing ever. Better elect a bunch of us so we can get those egg prices down. All you gotta do is cede control of your own eggs—plus your uteri, genitalia, et. alia—to us! Don’t fret! We got you! Sure, 10-year-old rape victims are being forced to give birth, but have you seen the price of diapers lately? Unwilling preteen mothers can’t afford to take care of their own kids! Thanks, Biden!”
Yeah, that didn’t last long. Indeed, Republicans are far more likely to back policies—like stifling immigration and protecting the super-rich from paying their fair share in taxes—that make inflation worse. What they’re great at, though, is crafting solutions in search of problems that only matter to people sitting at home whipping Werther’s Originals at their cathode ray tube TVs whenever Nancy Pelosi appears onscreen.
Like, did you know it’s vitally important to pass laws making it illegal to shoot porn on public school grounds? Well, now you do.
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