Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, who still trails the thrice-indicted ex-pr*sident of the U.S. by wide margins in primary polling, desperately needs to find ways to distinguish himself from Donald Trump, other than laughing like Salacious Crumb on 3 pounds of bath salts suppositories and eagerly troweling chocolate pudding into his maw with his glistening array of regular-sized fingers.
So what if we never get to see the much-ballyhooed cage match between Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk? Epic white person slap-fights occur at least fortnightly at the Whole Foods fromage kiosk, so no one gives a sh*t anymore. That’s old news anyway. But DeSantis—whose presidential campaign has been eerily like the Hindenburg’s farewell tour, except with marginally more Nazis—has accepted California Gov. Gavin Newsom’s long-standing debate challenge. And, boy oh boy, talk about bloodsport.
Sign the petition: Ron DeSantis cannot rewrite Black history